Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Hope

I have had a pretty challenging year, on a personal level. I felt like I kept wishing away so much of the year in trying to get through one thing or another. While I have much to be thankful about and grateful for...I feel like I let a lot of stress and worrying get in the way of simply enjoying what I truly do have to enjoy.

Then, last night I was sitting in my living room, just quietly sipping tea and looking at my Christmas tree. I was struck with a feeling of sadness, I suppose for wishing away so much of the year. Here we are, with 2009 upon us, and I feel like I have a lot less to show for this past year...I simply did not get accomplished what I wanted to achieve.


Then, my son came into the room carrying with him the scent of chlorine from his water polo practice. He came over to me and asked me to look at the ornaments with him. He asked me where I got this one, why I liked that one. I really enjoyed that moment with him and his wonder of these lovely ornaments and the little life moments they represented or measured.


My sadness began to fade and was replaced with a feeling of hope and faith. I know that this was not my banner year. This, however, was a year of transition and change for me and I need to dig even deeper to stop stressing out over what I cannot control and stop worrying for the worst of what can be. I wanted to capture that sense of hope I certainly once had, and that should be part of this holiday season.


After going after ornament after ornament, discussing our past as a family, my son went off to finish his homework. I sat down, cracked open a journal that I bought long ago but never used and started writing down my game plan for 2009. I have hope. I know we will have an even stronger future as a family.

2 comments:

fly tie said...

enjoyable read.

"I need to dig even deeper to stop stressing out over what I cannot control and stop worrying for the worst of what can be."

although it seems so hard to do sometimes, i think this is the key. i struggle with it so much myself. but as in the moment you shared with your son, that momnent always comes that helps open my eyes to the fact that all is well even when it feels or seems otherwise.

Sean Baker said...

i love the christmas tree, i found your blog through twitter actually, i hope you have set out your gameplan for 2009, im hoping 2009 will be a better year for me too, ive had alot of mistakr and regretts this year, im just happy to get it over with, only 2 more weeks (ish) till 2009 hopefully i'll not have anymore regrets during the 2 weeks left of 2008 :S
seany